Some Mondays are like this I think

I can feel like this after a long Monday at work. I have a nice work and nice people to help, but after a workday I often feel like this. I have given everyone a piece of me and I have hours and hours ahead of me to put myself back together piece by piece.

That’s something many of you can recognize I think. If you’re a highly sensitive person the feeling is even stronger and takes forever to sort out.

It will go away eventually and with every person I managed to help today comes good feelings that helps the putting back together in one piece process.

Have a nice Monday you all!

Anna

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I’m like a princess :)

Today I read in the paper about the norweigan princess that is hsp (highly sensitive person). She and a friend has written a book about it.

Idag läste jag i svd att den norska prinsessan tillsamman med en vännina har skrivit en bok om hsp (highly sensitive person)

The hsp thing can be a big burden, but it can also be the greatest gift of all to carry.

Att bära på hsp-talangen kan innebära en stor börda, men den kan också kännas som en fantastisk gåva och möjlighet.

If you know you have the hsp talent, you will see it as a gift the more you learn about hsp.

Om du vet att du har hsp-talangen kommer du förmodligen lära dig uppskatta gåvan och se dem som en unik tillgång ju mer du lär dig om hsp.

If you don’t have a clue of the hsp possibilities, but you are one of the hsp, you will constantly wonder why you don’t feel well and are so tired everytime you’re among lots of people.

Om du inte har en aning om vad hsp innebär, men ändå bär på den talangen, kommer du konstant fundera på varför du inte känner dig bra och alltid känner dig trött när du spenderat tid bland en massa människor.

If you’re not a hsp you still can learn about hsp. You probably have more than one friend who’s hsp. If you learn about hsp you will understand better why those persons need a lot of quiet time to regain energy. One hour among many people can be like five hours for non hsp. It means five hours is like 25 hours for non hsp sometimes. So a workday can be more than a whole day for hsp to experience.

Om du inte själv tillhör hsp’s kan du ändå lära dig mycket om hsp. Förmodligen har du mer än en vän som har hsp-talang. Om du läser mer om hsp kommer du att bättre förstå varför de personerna behöver mycket lugn och ro för att ladda batterierna. En timme bland mycket folk för en hsp kan motsvara fem timmar för “vanliga” personer. Det innebär att en arbetsdag för en hsp kan kännas som längre än ett dygn.

So what’s hsp? Basically the hsp experience five times more than “normal” people and pic up “invincible” impressions without really knowing about it. It’s not possible to shut off or control the antennas. Lots of things that’s going on at the same time is therefore exhausting and hard to sort out for hsp. We need a lot of time in peacefulness to recover from that massive impressions rain coming down on us.

Så vad är hsp? Aningen förenklat upplever hsp allt som sker i omgivningen fem gånger starkare än “vanliga” personer. Hsp fångar också omedvetet upp “osynliga” intryck som inte går att stänga av eller kontrollera. När mycket sker samtidigt i den miljö en hsp befinner sig i ösregnar det intryck som är omöjliga att sortera i realtid. Hsp behöver därför mycket lugn och ro för att kunna sortera alla intryck och återfå en ett harmoniskt inre.

You can read more here:

http://hspforeningen.se/lastips/

I see the hsp thing as a gift. But I pretend it is like diving. You need to go up to surface sometime to meat the world, which often is very nice and fun. But the you have to take a dive into the silence to be alone for a while before next visit on surface.

Jag se hsp som en värdefull gåva. Jag brukar likna hsp vid dykning. Ibland måste jag upp till ytan för att kliva ut i världen och möta alla trevliga människor. Men efter det behöver jag söka djupet och tystnaden för att bearbeta stunderna uppe vid ytan.

Anna

Don’t leave me…

…so soon

Do you feel like this?

Sunday rushing away from you despite the fact that you match perfectly together?

And the Monday character knocking on your shoulder waiting to get you into trouble that mess up the good peaceful feeling the Sunday gave you?

I’m a HSP, high sensitive person, so when Peaceful Sunday leave me and Monday knocks on my shoulder I get a bit unpeaceful. 

I like my work and I like all people that I get to meet those days even the trouble ones. But for a HSP it’s also exhausting. We experience five times more than “normal” people. So during one hour I collect impressions that others collect in five hours. The workdays are therefore long days and when I come home it takes many hours to regain peacefulness in my mind.

So Sunday night I take a deep breath and breath out when the weekend comes.

Känner du som på bilden när en fridfull söndag övergår till en måndag med allt vad en måndag kan innebära?

För högsensitiva personer, som t ex jag, innebär slutet på en söndag förberedelser för att rusta sig för en arbetsvecka. 

Jag gillar mitt arbete och alla personer jag kommer i kontakt med, även de trouble ones.  Men för en högsensitiv innebär dagar ute bland folk stora ansträngningar som kräver mycket energi. Vi upplever allt fem gånger så starkt som “normala” personer. Det innebär att vi under en timme samlar intryck som andra samlar på sig under fem timmar. Det tar därför många timmar att mentalt sortera alla dagens intryck och finna ro i själen och tanken igen.

Så på söndagkvällar tar jag ett djupt andetag och andas ut igen när helgen börjar.

This time I have a two weeks peacefulness work and freetime behind me, so this Monday will be a challenge. But it will also be nice to be back in ordinary days again.

Den här gången lämnar jag två veckors arbete/fritid-komboledighet bakom mig, så denna måndag kommer att ge ordentligt med utmaningar. Samtidigt brukar jag gilla att komma tillbaka till vanliga dagar igen.

What do you feel about Mondays?

Vad tycker du om måndagar?

Anna 

Friends

You never get me tired

This blogfriends thing suits me very well.

I can interact with you when ever I feel like it.

I can choose all by my self how long my visit by your place’s gonna be. When I come back and when I leave.

I can take my time to think about what I wanna say in your comment field without feeling pressure of inventing an instant oneliner.

I don’t have to dress up for meeting you.

I don’t have to excuse myself when I wanna go home early.

I don’t have to talk to people I don’t feel like talking to at the moment.

I can take a break in socializing at any time I want.

I can try out answers before I deliver them.

I can talk to you and get lots of inspiration without getting tired of the millions of impressions that I get from IRL socializing.

By now some of you may suspect my point in this list.

I’m one of the HSPs 🙂

You can read more about Highly Sensitive Persons at
http://hsperson.com/

It’s a gift, the way I see it.

I really like people IRL too, but they consume my energy a lot more than you WP people.

Today I had a “outside day”, meeting lots of nice people. For me that’s exhausting. One hour in a room full of people talking all the time is like five hours for others. I been out there in about four hours today. That’s about twenty hours for “normal” people.

Need I say that I had a long day today? But a very nice day though!

Till er som läser svenska, säg till om ni vill ha denna text på svenska, då gör jag en svensk version.

Anna

Friends/Vänner

Narc Radar part 1

This is a post inspired by Persia Karemas blog and the comment conversation I sometimes have with Persia on the narc theme.

I also recently got inspiration from Robert Goldsteins blog for this post.

And many more of you, who writes about this. To you all, keep writing such post, they’re important and very educational.

Do you have a narc radar?

Some of you will answer with a big immediate YES. Then you will recognize everything I write further down in this post. Nothing will be new to you.

Some of you maybe wonder what I’m talking about. For you everything will be new information and hopefully an eye opener.

When a few of you read this post, you will try to deminish me and my words and make it look like I don’t tell the truth and that I write bad things about you as a person in this post and that I write about myself and not you. If your reaction will be like this I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to read on.
You will only get upset and think every word is part of an evil conspiracy against you. Before you stop reading I can tell you, this post is not about your person specific and it’s not a conspiracy against you. I don’t know you and therefore I can’t write bad or good about you as a person. But if you still think this post is about you, then stop reading now, for your own good.

To all of you who followed me here, hi again. Sorry about the interruption 🙂

Are you aware of how some people seems to use other people as lego parts to build their own person? They take a bit here and a bit there and make a person of the pieces and claim it’s their own unique personality?

Are you aware of how many parts that’s been taken from you? They are smooth criminals. They take small small parts of everyone’s personality if they find it useful. Far too few people notice the stealing.

Why? Well, we are not enough aware of the copies they make of everyone’s personality parts. They glue the copied parts together and all we see is, what we at first sight see, a normal person with common personality.

How do we discover the fake? It’s not always easy, but if you listen very carefully to what they say and how they act, you will, with a little training and not too many flying monkeys around, learn how to spot the difference between truth and false appearance.

If you get the feeling that they act even though it’s not a play on the theatre going on, then you might be on something.

Try to plant out words and expressions that you can single out from the daily vocabulary. Maybe you have specific branch terms or self invented terms that you can use. If you wait patiently you will hear this person use your specific terms after a while, but probably not exactly in the way the words are supposed to be used. They want you to think that they sounds like a rocket scientist and full of knowledge. They steal your vocabulary because they don’t have one of their own.

If you listen even more carefully you will hear the use of other stolen words and expressions. The person may have spoken to friends of yours. Then you will hear some of their expressions if the person find something they said useful for their purpose.

If you feel an invisible resistance, you can’t seem to define, then you should be aware. You can, if you dare, try to find out if the resistance seems to be real. Try to imply that you don’t agree with what the person is saying. If the person seems to react with hostility and try to make you feel bad or try to make your point of view completely inadequate, then you most certainly should back of as far as you can from this person. You will never get anything but trouble as long as the person is connected to you in any way.

But then you might say, the person is so charming and so nice, it’s hard to believe anything not nice about the person. That’s a really big warning sign. The overniceness, the smoothness, the charmness. Those things only last as long as you do what the person wish you to do. Think telephone sales persons. They are only nice as long as you give them the right answers and you say you will buy something from them.

This is a forever going on lesson, so I continue in another post in the future.

Have a great day ya all!

And a big thank you to Persia for inventing the Narc Radar term!

Anna

I’m having a Me day

I’m one of those people who needs Me days after a period of People days.

I like People days in small doses. I like Me days in big doses. But often I get these day categories the other way around. People days comes in big doses and Me days comes in small doses. I guess that’s life, but when People days comes in big doses and I don’t get Me days, then I feel like people is eaten me up, bit by bit.

I need my Me days to recover. I need my Me days to be me again. I need my Me days to regain my thinking process, my ability to create art.

I have more to say than nice phrases. I do that in my art. The People days almost always means days of only nice phrases, that bores me out totally. Though, those days gives me constant reminders of how important it is for art to tell us something more than nice and suitable phrases.

So, my Me days are important, not only for myself, but for anyone else, who’s interested in hearing something more than nice and suitable phrases.

And one more thing, all of you wp friends belong to my Me days, just so you know 😉

Anna

  

Me days

Do you have “me days”? You should all have me days.
They’re lovely and gives you new energy and new ideas.

What’s a “me day”?

For me a “me day” is a lovely day where I do what I want, without worrying about anything else. I do things I like, paint a painting for an example, live in my mind without disturbing of other people. I think my thoughts through. Come up with new ideas. I take tea breaks and eat breaks and live in my mind all day.

There could be people around, but I don’t really let them in, I continue to spending my day in my mind. I can read, listen or work in the garden. It doesn’t really matter what I do, the main thing is to let go of the outside world and let the day be a “me day”.

I look like this those days I manage to reach the state of “me day”.

Anna

A great me day

Do you do like this?

Being an introvert high sensitive person (HSP) means that you should avoid certain type of people if you also want to avoid being totally exhausted in less than five minutes.
Those kind of persons are not always easy to avoid and when you have to be in the same area as them for hours you will be totally worn out mentally.

I’m talking about the persons who refuse to be them selves when mingling with other people. Despite the fact that they’ve known the people around them since stoneage and doesn’t have the slightest reason to put on an act, they still do that. No one buys the ticket to the show, but they give it anyway.

That’s exhausting for HSP to be around those kind of people. You feel the wrongness, the false theater, the playing and that steals all energy you have.

It’s a black hole and you can’t do nothing about the gravitation power at that point. You just have to cope til the times up and you can go home to a safe zone again far away from the show, you never wanted to see in the first place.

Avoid this kind of people if you can. There’s a lot of them, so it’s not easy 😉

Anna

Searching for light

Olja, 50x100cm

This painting is for me about the need of silence, silence in moments of recovery before searching the light above surface.

High sensitive persons may recognize this feeling. The author Elaine Aron has written a book about the high sensitive persons. Read it if you want to learn more.

Have a nice day, below or over the surface 🙂
Ibland hamnar vi nog alla i ett under-ytan-läge. Kanske behöver vi det också. En stunds tystnad, en stunds ensamhet, en stunds viktlöshet. Bara få simma omkring nere i djupet, inte behöva bry oss om vad som händer ovan ytan, bara ha syre tillräckligt för vår dyktur.

När vi sedan återigen vill söka oss tillbaka upp över ytan får vi helt enkelt hoppas att de ovan ytan just visar vägen, så att vi stiger upp åt rätt håll och inte tappar orienteringen och går djupare ner i tron att vi stiger uppåt.

Kanske behöver vi alla lära oss att tillåta svackor, att de behövs och sedan planar ut och till och med vänder uppåt till toppar. En själslig bergochdalbanetur helt enkelt.

Vill ni läsa böcker av författare, som skriver om detta fenomen, som ungefär en femtedel av befolkningen upplever mycket starkt i sina svängningar kan ni börja i änden Maggan Hägglund/Doris Dahlins Drunkna inte i dina känslor. Vill ni läsa mer ingående om ämnet kan ni gå vidare till författaren Elaine Aron.

Anna

Age

…is a funny thing.

When I see little kids playing soccer I want to be nine years old again.

When I see teenager girls talk talk talk and laugh laugh laugh I definitly not want to be a teen again.

When I see babies in stroller I think it would be nice being a baby again, that my parents take care of all day long.

When I see those who have lifelong vacation after a long work life, I’m perfectly happy with my own age, when I see their health issues.

Somehow age is an illusion to me. We are as young or old as we feel. It’s not the years that counts, it’s your experiences and your sence that makes your age, I think.

I found a fresh blog written by a person, which have thoughts that could have been my thoughts twentyfive years ago. But I’d never dared to share them at that age. This twenty year old writer is braver than I was 🙂

This was the post I found:
It is difficult to change… Introvert, Loneliness, Depression

Anna

  
Up to surface/Upp till ytan

Explanation of a the Please respect post

I did a short post called Please respect…

where I wrote:

If you seek my attention and don´t seems to get response, then I may have my reasons. Please respect that 🙂

This reaction go way back to my childhood. I didn’t know it then, but since I learned about how introverts and also High Sensitive Persons perceive other persons feeling cloud, as I chose to call it, I’ve been able to understand why I react to certain people by total closure.

I sounds like a weird total introvert idiot, but I can be extrovert too, but this thing when I totally close down, that I can do nothing about and don’t want to either.

When do I close down totally?

When people with narcissistic traits tries to be my friend and sometimes even more than that.

They may not even be narcissistic, but they can show such traits anyway. I’m completely allergic to such people. I want to like and love every one, but I realize I cannot if I want to stay healty and free in my soul.

With the same logic that cats and dogs immediately looking up the only allergic person in the room to say hi, narcissists seems to take interest in the only person that do not want to talk to them.

It’s been a curse all my life, I realize by now. When I was young I didn’t understand why I tried to avoid certain people, but now as an adult I know exactly why.

The problem isn’t a problem really. Not for me. I can spot this kind of people miles away from a half life experience. But no one else seems to understand that I do that. They don’t get that I already see lots a step forward. And to avoid those steps and trouble I will get into, if I ignore my intuition, I close totally in step one instead of step ten.

I probably still sound very weird. High Sensitive Persons percieve about five times as much as “normal” people in the same timeline. So if you need an hour to find things out. I already have the answers in little more than ten minutes.

That’s unfair to people you may say. But I’ve been around too many narcissists to waste time on another one and another one and so on. I don’t have the time to be fake nice to people I get nothing but trouble from in the future.

So I will keep closing down totally when I don’t want to interact with people that reminds me of trouble-people from my past.

This is a sad side of me. Not being able to be nice and chat with everyone I meet. Everytime I tried a different way, it ends up with they eating me up. And I don’t want that.

I though think that everyone has their right to exists as they are, so I’m only asking to be left alone in the point of not demand answers and reactions from me when I don’t want to interact.

You will notice when I don’t want to interact. I simply don’t answer your invites to interaction. Normal people get this, narcs continue to seek interaction in every way the come to think of.

I really like to interact with you in normal cases, so please continue to visit, like and comment on my blog.

Happy blogging everyone 🙂

And by the way, I’m fine now, the post Please respect may have worked this time, thank you 🙂
Anna

Story behind the drawing:
We need Heart of stones sometimes | Annas Art – FärgaregårdsAnna

Upp till ytan/searching for light (julpris 1000 sek)

Somliga människor behöver mer än andra gå under ytan för att söka en trygg och lugn tillvaro efter en tid ovan ytan ute i ljuset i samspel med andra människor.

Under ytan-tiden, innetiden, som den introverta sidan av oss gärna samlar kraft under, skiljer sig från över ytan-tiden, utetiden, som den mer extroverta sidan gillar och hämtar energi ur.

För personer med HSP-begåvning, starksköra människor, kan utetid både ge och dränera energi beroende på sammanhang. I en SvD-artikel kan ni läsa om hur högkänsliga pejlar in vågor i luften.

Den aktiviteten går inte att slå av och på som en strömbrytare utan pågår ständigt. För att komma undan känslomolnen i luften kring människor går en del under ytan för att söka ro och hämta ny kraft.

Den här tavlan handlar om hur vi alla pendlar mellan ytläge i ljuset och havets djup där ljudet och människomöten inte förekommer på samma sätt som i ytläge. Vi behöver unna varandra fri pendling mellan dessa lägen tror jag. Inte tvinga någon annan till varken ytläge eller djupläge utan låta var och en befinna sig i det läge som passar för stunden.

Något att tänka på inför stundande helger kanske?

Vill ni läsa mer om detta ämne, som egentligen angår oss alla kan ni läsa t ex dessa böcker:

Drunkna inte i dina känslor, Maggan Hägglund och Doris Dahlin (bokus)

Den högkänsliga människan, Elaine Aron (adlibris)

Eller kolla in webbsidan som handlar om HSP-begåvning.

We all need quiet moments. Like diving in sea. No sounds from above surface, no one talks, just warm water around you,who takes care of you, embraces you.

Some of us need this moments more than others to cope ordinary days. Elaine Aron call it Comfort Zone. You can read more on her webbsite. www.hsperson.com

This painting is for me about how we all need diving to search for light above surface, to find strenght to deal with life among people. Give your friends and family these moments when they need them. Don’t force them to be anywhere else than there they want to be.

Anna

Här kan ni se andra oljetavlor med julpriser om ni behöver en tavla att ge bort som julklapp eller behålla själva 🙂